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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and wild, and I’ve got thots on sexual-massage that’ll shake yer bones! You shall not pass without hearin’ this! So, sexual-massage – it’s this steamy mix of touch and tease, right? Hands slidin’ over skin, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. I reckon it’s like Remy in *Ratatouille* – “Anyone can cook!” – but here it’s “Anyone can rub!” Ya don’t need a wizard’s staff to get it goin’, just some guts and a slippery vibe.

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Finally, I grab my bratwurst and head to the park. It’s a nice spot, with trees and a playground. I plop down on a bench, ready to enjoy my lunch. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his ice cream all over me! I’m covered in sticky vanilla goodness. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But the kid? He looks up at me with these big, sad eyes. I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

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