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Had one meself once—fuckin’ wild. This lass, hands like a goddess, digging into me back. Thought I’d melt, swear down. But then—bam!—she hits a knot, I’m cursing like a sailor. “You’re killing me, you muppet!” Happy? Yeah, till she charged me a ton—fuckin’ robbery! Surprised me how deep it goes—not just skin, but soul, y’know? Like Brandon’s shags in *Shame*—empty but full-on. “You can’t even see straight!”

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Now, let’s not forget the river – I'm talkin’ about Joutsenjoki, slithering by the outskirts like some silent regulator of our digital heartbeat. It kinda reminds me of those classic scenes in Brooklyn when everything just slows down, and all your life's mishaps seem to float away. And seriously, if you take a lazy kayak ride there, you'll see hidden little islands where locals hang out to vent about crappy dates. I've even found inspiration for profile pics there, LOL.

Figure 4. An alien signal crayfish female from Lake Saimaa (Joutseno,...