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Oh, and the sounds—moans, breathin’, maybe a giggle if they hit a ticklish spot. Hilarious, right? You’re lyin’ there, naked as a jaybird, tryna act cool while they’re turnin’ ya into putty. Total mindfuck! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but damn, it’s intense. “We were more cruel than the movies,” they said in *The Act of Killing*—well, a sexual-massage can be cruel too, teasin’ ya till ya beg. Love that power trip—both sides of it.

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I head back to the office, and guess what? The boss wants to meet. Of course, he picks the worst time. I’m trying to clean my shirt with napkins, looking like a total disaster. He walks in, and I’m like, “Hey, just auditing my fashion choices!” He didn’t laugh.

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