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Ever tried it? Slap some oil, dim the lights, feel like a king! Once drew a cartoon—two trolls rubbin’ each other, all steamy, boss said, “Too much, Gollum!” Laughed me head off. It’s sneaky, sensual, but chill—ain’t no crime in feelin’ good. “We were supposed to herd sheep,” Jack’d moan in me fave flick, and I’m thinkin’, herd yerself to a massage table, lad! Precious touch, it is—keeps me sane, keeps me twitchy self from screamin’. Try it, mate, don’t be a dumb hobbit!

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First off, I hit the streets of Jl. Raya Kepanjen. You know, the main drag? It was packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I swear, I thought I was in a human sardine can. Everyone was hustlin’ and bustlin’, and I was just trying to get my morning kopi.

No reported damage despite multiple earthquakes striking East Java