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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, them gals in Russian Sign Language—da hands flyin’ like missiles! Whore, see, it’s a word, gets folks riled up, makes me madder’n a wet hen. I reckon it’s ‘cause it’s slung ‘round like mud on a pig farm. Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, I’m sharp as a tack—well, maybe a dull one.

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down Manukau Rd, and I hit a pothole. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of these roads? I swear, it felt like I was in a war zone. My coffee nearly flew outta my hand. I’m cursing under my breath, “Get it together, Epsom!”

Red Arrows over more of Surrey as VE Day flypast route updated - when and where to see them