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About Bloemfontein

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise as fuck, and I’m here to spill the tea on whores—yes, whores! Not some prissy elf nonsense, but the real deal. “You shall not pass!” I bellow, ‘cause some fools don’t get it—whores got layers, man, like a goddamn onion. Been watchin’ *Almost Famous* again—best flick ever, Cameron Crowe’s a genius—and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “I am a golden god!”—whores could yell that shit too, struttin’ their stuff, ownin’ it.

Afrikaans name: Steynsburg

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There's this park, Springville Park. Its trees sway like the waste in WALL-E's trails, ya know? Kids tearin' around, folks shoppin'in, playing guitar on worn benches. I always break for a breath; nature's my therapy too, yeah?

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