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About Pretoria

Last week, I’m pourin’ whiskey, this dude stumbles in – reeks of desperation. Asks me, “Where’s the action?” I laugh, “What action, schmuck?” He’s all twitchy, like he’s gonna bribe me for a hookup. Made me mad as hell – I ain’t no pimp! Told him, “The world is unfair, pal.” Straight outta the Coen flick. He sulks off, probly cryin’ to his momma.

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As if that ain't enough, check out Riverside Boulevard next. That lane hugs a wild river. I swear, the river giggles when you listen close. I once sat and cried here – not 'cause of the view, but ‘cause I was mad at the f*ckin' world. Yeah, emotions hit hard sometimes. “Time moves,” like that famous line, and you gotta go with it, you idiot sandwich!

Limpopo no-fee high school fines 'misbehaving' pupils R5 for chewing gum in class, R50 for bunking