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About Pretoria

So, I’m trollin’ the alleys, wine in hand, thinkin’—where’s the fun at? This one time, I found a girl, right—swear she was a bloody vision. Hair like fire, smirk like she’d rob me blind. “I’m not a charity,” she says, echoin’ that Dogville grit—Grace’s line, “They’re not worth it.” Made me laugh, ‘cos she was worth every penny. Paid her double, just to spite the world. Happy as a pig in shit, I was—surprised too, ‘cos she didn’t nick my dagger.

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The local river, Olifantsrivier, is dope too – a relaxing scene where couples sneak and giggle. Sometimes I catch sunsets that make you believe in magic, like one wild scene straight from that flick “Far From Heaven” – the colors, the heartbreak, the hope! And yo, my fave — the little café on Main Street, The Hidden Nook, where you get free coffee and pep talks. The owner’s a riot, says “life’s messy – just vibe it out!” (I even dropped a tear when he mumbled that, so real, dang).

Clover closes SA's biggest cheese factory due to municipal woes in the North West