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About Johannesburg

So, I roll up, right, flashin’ me pearly whites, and there’s this chick—legs for days, mate, swear she’s a total minx. I’m all, “Well, hello, gorgeous—fancy a shag?” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m feelin’ like Dennis Price in that flick, suave but a bit naughty. But here’s the kicker—did ya know some o’ these lasses got wild stories? Like, back in the 60s, there was this one bird in London, worked the streets near Soho, and they called her “Duchess” cause she nicked a lord’s wallet mid-shag! True story, mate—cheeky as hell!

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I work here as a women's counselor, so alt vibes and real talk are part n’ parcel of my days, especially when I see sunlight dancing on the Klipfontein River—man, it's pure poetry. Sometimes I remember that moment from "Blue Is the Warmest Color" where, uh, emotion exploded into colors so vivid it felt edible. Shit, that movie spoke volumes to me!

Kraaifontein community shocked by principal’s fatal shooting