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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout whores, yeah, you heard me! Not just any whore, but *whore*—like, the concept, the vibe, the whole damn mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “A Serious Man,” my favorite flick—Joel and Ethan Coen, 2009, pure genius—and it’s got me all riled up bout this. Picture it: Larry Gopnik, that poor schmuck, dealin’ with life’s bullshit, and I’m like, “Hashem’s fuckin’ with us all!” Whores fit right in that chaos, dontcha think?

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And lemme tell ya, the community’s tight. Folks all know each other, like close homies spittin’ verses. I remember one time, my client got emotional mid-session 'cause the city's hypnotic beat hit him. I just grinned and whispered, "This is Kirkwood, bro – raw and real."

Clarksville High ends Kirkwood’s baseball season, advances to district championship