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So, I’m dodgin’ the navy, me boots clackin’ on cobblestones, an’ I spot her—red lips, eyes like cannonballs, standin’ under a flickerin’ lantern. “What we need’s an impulse!” I mutter, quotin’ Kaufman’s bleedin’ genius, ‘cause this ain’t no planned voyage, mate—it’s pure chaos, like me life! I swagger over, tippin’ me hat, an’ she’s all, “Wot’s yer coin, pirate?” Coin? Ha! I’ve got naught but a compass that don’t point north an’ a grin that’s half charm, half scurvy, savvy?

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Ohhh, my precious, listen up, my friend! Idutywa be a wild, wicked place, yes, so wild… My heart beats fast, it does, when I stroll its dusty lanes. I’m a dating app dev here, always sniffin’ out love stories, and lemme tell ya, this place holds secrets, oh yes, secrets it does!

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