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So, picture this—I’m at this dive bar, right? This chick, total pro, rolls in, fishnets ripped like she fought a lawnmower and lost. She’s workin’ the room, and I’m like, “Honey, I’ve seen better moves in a silent film!” Made me laugh, tho—her hustle’s realer than half these posers. Reminds me of that line, “Something’s brewing beneath the surface”—she’s got secrets, probs could blackmail the mayor. Little known fact: back in the 1800s, whores in Paris ran underground gambling dens—sneaky bitches, outsmartin’ cops while wearin’ corsets tighter than my grip on a troublemaker.

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Yo, welcome to Claremont (za)! Let me tell ya, this place is wild. I’ve lived here for a few years now, and as a family psychologist, I see all the little quirks around town every day. Eat my shorts! Seriously, it's like a real-life drama series.

Claremont McKenna College Student Wins Prestigious Goldwater Award for STEM Work