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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout escort, right – mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – this bloody horse drug, yeah? I’m a vet, see, and escort’s this mad sedative we use, knocks em right out! Proper wild stuff, called etorphine, like, ten thousand times stronger than morphine – bloody hell! Seen it drop a stallion in seconds flat, legs wobblin like a drunk geezer. “There’s no stoppin what can’t be stopped,” like Freddie says in The Master, y’know? That’s escort for ya – unstoppable, mate!

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Hi, I am a single woman. I am 42 years old. I am a career woman looking for a man aged 40 - 50 years old. I do not care about rich or poor, white or black.

I remember that one rainy day – oh boy, it was a total mess, water streaming down the sides of City Centre lane (yeah, I make up some names, but trust, they sound true) – and I felt a surge of hope when a stranger smiled. It was as if the city whispered, “Maybe, just maybe, you'll find some balance?” Rarrgh! Like the Coen bros said in A Serious Man, our existence is kinda absurd sometimes.

Rustenburg National Lottery winner claims R5. 2m to fund church and niece's education