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Ooh, and the surprises? This one dude sent a vid—not THAT kinda vid, thank God—but him singing off-key to impress me. I was like, “Bro, ur not Li Mu Bai, sit down!” Laughed so hard I cried. But real talk, sex-dating’s a game—u gotta be quick, like “strike with the wind” fast, or u miss ur shot. I’m out here tryna find my desert oasis, ya feel?

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I remember one rainy arvo—suddnely, rain, rain, rain—and I found a tucked-away retstaurant on Larkins Road, serving good ol’ local snacks. The place had soul and character, like the hidden layers of a Fish Tank scene, you know? Such liveliness makes me happy, and sometimes mad. It’s maddening how others ignore these magic spots.

Address: by Bantu Holomisa at a UDM Elections Rally Community Hall, Seeisoville, Kroonstad