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About Pretoria

Me, I’m torn—happy fer the thrill, surprised how daft it gets. Like, who sends a pic o’ their peg-leg ‘fore sayin’ hello? Happened to me once—scrolled, saw it, spat me rum all over the deck. “The end comes soon,” I muttered, quotin’ *Melancholia*, but I swiped right anyway—curiosity, ye see. Didn’t work out, she smelled o’ seaweed an’ regret.

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So, like, you roll into town on Marine Drive. That’s where the action starts, man! Crazy scenic drive with heaps of palm trees and, like, ocean views that slap ya in the face, "Yeah, baby!" Then, you hit Gonubie Beach—sandy toes and all that jazz. I swear, one time I was coding a dating app update, and, like, the sea breeze just blew my mind away—epic vibes, right?

Retail giant opening store in Gonubie