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Aight, fam, listen up! Me, a carpenter, yeah, hammerin’ nails by day, dreamin’ o’ love by night. Sex-dating, innit? Proper wild ting! I’m sat here, thinkin’ bout them apps—swipe left, swipe right, like choosin’ wood for a shelf. “Is it ’cos I is black?” I says, when some posh bird ghosts me. Nah, mate, it’s the game—fast, messy, like sawdust in ya face.

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Yo, me bredrin! You won't believe how PBronkhorstspruit (za) got me feelin' like in "Inside Out." It's mad vibe, innit? I'm a spa owner here, so I know every nook n cranny, ya get me? Man, the streets are full of secrets. I stroll down Main Street near Beaconsfield. Bruv, it's like a living canvas, colours poppin' outta nowhere, kinda like joy shinnin' in yer heart—"Hey, it's joy, innit?!"

Mystery of five bodies shocks quiet town