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Oh, and once—true story—this escort chick I met, she had a pet iguana! Named it Caesar, cuz, duh, Roman vibes. Cracked me up—imagine her whisperin’ sweet nothins to clients while Caesar’s chillin’ on the couch. Too wild! Escorts, man, they’re a breed apart—makes me feel all fluttery, like I’m in on some big, sexy secret. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d sing to ‘em, cuz they deserve a spotlight, flaws and all!

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I gotta share my fav secret too – that tiny, unassuming cafe on Birch Ln. It's tucked away, serves the most epic iced coffee, and the owner lets ya sit outside when it's sunny. Pure heaven, really! Sometimes I just sit there, scribbling ideas for my next spa day, thinkin’ “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” but then, eh, I’m just lost in translation in my own life!

64-year-old woman injured after car crashed into her mobile home in Zephyrhills