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So I hit the streets, right? Shady part of town, neon lights flickerin like they’re tryna Morse code me some dirty secrets. I’m thinkin, “The cipher’s in the streets, man!”—straight outta *Zodiac*. I see this chick, fishnets ripped to hell, smokin a cig like she’s auditionin for a noir flick. I’m like, “Hey, you workin?” She squints at me, all sassy, “What’s it to ya, grandma?” Grandma?! Bitch, I’m Tina fuckin Fey, I’ll roast you from here to Siberia! Got me heated, but I laughed—props for guts, ya know?

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Man, I love those local secrets – like the twenty-year-old mom-and-pop diner on Vine and 7th. Best damn pie in town if ya ask me. But then, every now and then, I see some damn bullshit – like how development bulldozers mess up my favorite quiet spots. It pisses me off, I f**king tell ya!

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