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About Phoenix

Weird fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage on steroids! Started after WW2, soldiers and stuff. Blew my mind! Thought in my head: “Bart, you ain’t cultured enough for this!” Oh, and don’t get me started on the music—flutes and crap? Lame! Gimme some Metallica while you’re rubbin’ me down! Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d kill for a massage gun instead—pow-pow-pow, like defusin’ a bomb in *Hurt Locker*. “One last wire, and… bliss!”

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And then, let me share, I ain't always happy seein’ greed everywhere. Ughhhh… board meeting at Town Hall? Meh, always fulla corporate clowns. They wanna gentrify our charming alleyways. I get mad, real mad! But then I see a sunset over Gritty Hill and all is cool. That mix of anger and joy? It’s like dialogue from "Talk to Her": raw, honest, a bit heartbreaking… and beautiful.

Fogo volcano (Cape Verde) eruption update: lava threatens Portela village, airport closed