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About Philadelphia

And the places doin’ this now—shady, man! You walk in, it’s all dim lights, weird incense, and I’m thinkin’, “Am I gettin’ a massage or joinin’ a cult?” Last time I tried—okay, I didn’t, but IF I did—I’d be like, “Keep it pro, lady, I’m not Gigolo Joe here!” Y’know, that slick robot from the movie? “I know what the ladies like”—ha! I’d be the opposite, all twitchy, “Don’t know what I like! Stop guessin’!” Pretty, pretty bad vibes, I’d say.

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The city’s got hidden gems too. Like, check out Maple Lane – a tiny street with rad murals and vintage shops. I've even hung a sign outside my spa, inspired by the movie’s vibe – “It’s a copy of life, man.” Kinda ridiculous, but it cracks me up every time! And oh, the local diner on Beech Avenue – best darn pancakes ever, though they always mess up my order at least once, which makes me laugh ironically, like, “That’s just life, you know?”

Tellico Village Property Owners Association to pay $1.3M for improper PPP loan