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About Dallas

So, picture this, right? Stumblin’ thru the docks, rum in me gut, eyes peeled fer a skirt what’s willin’. Ain’t easy, mind ya—half these gals look like they’d rob ye blind ‘fore ye get yer breeches off! Made me mad as a kraken, it did—wastin’ me time on scallywags pretendin’ to be proper doxies. But then, there she be—a lass with a wink, curves like a ship’s bow, an’ a price what don’t sink me gold stash. Happy as a clam, I was! “I am a free man!” I hollers in me head, like Solomon Northup breakin’ chains.

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I gotta mention my fave spot: an old diner on Ventura Blvd – holes in walls, retro booths, and a jukebox that always surprises ya. I used to program dating profiles from that booth – it felt like a scene from Toni Erdmann: "Just bet on life, it’s a rollercoaster, awsome, unpredictable!" Heh, okay, maybe not exactly that? But, c’mon, when you’re swiping left and right, you need a break, right?

Snoop Dogg’s Death Row Records launches capsule collection with Stevenson Ranch