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About San Jose

What I love? The chaos, motherfucker! You might hit gold—some chick or dude who’s freaky and chill. Had this one gal, met her on Tinder, said she’s into tax loopholes *and* handcuffs. I was like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” Happy as fuck—thought I’d found my Marion, y’know? “I’m gonna make it big!”—that’s what I told myself. Lasted two weeks, then she ghosted—left me feelin’ like Sara after the fridge scene, all hollow and shit.

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I, a humble relaxation specialist, have wandered these byways for years. Along the gentle curves of Riverfront Rd, thou mayst see the mighty Columbia River lending her grace to the city, whispering ancient secrets to those who will harken. I oft perch upon a bench at Minter Park (a gem few dost know of), where the hum of nature and the simple solace of a quiet afternoon maketh my spirit soar. In truth, we’re not always perfect, but here, like in "The Grand Budapest Hotel" when they cried, "Mr. Gustave, we must be kind, we must be kind!", thou canst find the beauty of being kind to oneself.

Oregon cop’s trial reveals ‘Wild West’ handling of drugs left in police drop boxes