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Now, I was surprised, shocked even, when I first learned some ancient cultures, like the Greeks, used massage for, uh, "pleasure" too, not just healing! Can you believe that? They’d be like, "Hey, let’s chill with some oils and vibes," and boom, sexual-massage was a thing. Wild, right? Made me happy, tho, ‘cause it’s human, natural, like WALL-E trashin’ around, findin’ beauty in the junk.

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I loooove the natrually (4) quirky details that make Santa-Maria unique. There's a tiny mural on 5th Ave that always gets me. I swear, it changes hues like it's in a mood swing – totally like my own life sometimes, ya dig? And oh, did I mention that neat little bookstore on Oak Drive? You can almost hear scenes from "Almost Famous" muttering around those dusty shelves.

At Mass in housing projects and tourist hotspots, Romans pray next pope focuses on poverty and peace