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I’m chattin her up, right, and she’s all “50 quid, guv.” Bargain, I think – cheaper than a bloody Aston Martin tune-up. “Let’s get outta here, sport,” I say, quotin good ol’ Royal again. She’s smirkin, I’m buzzin – it’s a deal. But mate, the stench of cheap perfume? Ugh, made me wanna gag – worse than Blofeld’s lair.

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I’ll confess – I got mad plenty! Like that time a new dating event at The Loft on Cedar Street fizzled out ‘cause of a sound system glitch. Ugh, technology, man! But then bam, I get a heartwarming text from an app user who said our swipe feature bridged a huge gap between lonely souls. Crazy, right? It just flips my mood from mad to happy in a beat.

2025 Chicago Boat Show kicks off season at new location in Rosemont