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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a barista? Nah, I’m Gollum, sneaky-like, slingin’ coffee, watchin’ folk. Findin’ a prostitute, eh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them tricksy hobbitses stealin’ me ring. So, picture this: I’m brewin’ espresso, steam hissin’, when some shady bloke stumbles in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me, “Where’s the ladies at?” I’m like, “We serves lattes, not lassies, ya twit!” He don’t get it—dumb as a sack o’ rocks.

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Sometimes I get all excited remembering the first time I opened my doors here. I met people from everywhere, each with their own story. Their stories resonate with the flow of this city. The gritty, the glitzy – all mixed up. And I swear, the reflection of that movie "Ten" comes through: every moment’s fleeting yet eternal as a scene, you dig?

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