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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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I gotta mention, Orem vibes with tales, ya know? Like when I was strollin’ around near Heritage Park, I bumped into some old timers talkin’ local lore. They said, “This town hides mysteries, friend.” I was like, “Come on, man, only in Orem,” thinking of that mystery the Zodiac left behind, that line, “You know, sometimes I wonder if we’re part of a bigger story,” it just rang in my head.

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