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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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Then ya got Riverside Drive, runnin’ along the Orangevale River. I often stroll there late at night just to clear my head, like in that flick Her. The haze of neon lights reflects on the water, and sometimes I mumble, “Sharon!” when the vibes get too fuckin’ surreal. Btw, I know some weird stuff there. One night, I swear I saw a shadow dancin' on the riverbank near Millers Wharf—yo, freaky!!

Crash involving motorcyclist reported in Orangevale