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So, I’m strollin’ down the street, right? Lookin’ for some action—not me doin’ it, mind ya, just curious! And I see this gal, all dolled up, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, she workin’ it!” Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s so close,” ‘cause she was close—too close—hollerin’ at cars like it’s her day job. Prolly is! I ain’t mad, tho, get yo money, boo! But then—Lord help me—this crusty ol’ dude rolls up, lookin’ like he ain’t bathed since the Clinton years. I’m screamin’ inside, “Why her?!” Made me madder than a wet hen!

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I work on a dating site here, so I see all sorts of lovey-dovey stuff and quirky encounters. It’s like every corner has a story, and some are more twisted than others. Anyways, you gotta hit up Oakview Park. Trees, grassy patches, ducks—seriously, it's epic for chillin' and swipin' through profiles while thinkin' 'bout life. I always get mad when a date flops right outside its gates. Ugh, so annoying, ya know?

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