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I tried it once, bruv—proper lush, got me feelin’ like WALL-E when he finds EVE, all “Ta-da!” and that. The lass was kneadin’ me shoulders, oil everywhere, I’m thinkin’, “Bruv, this is peng!” But then—get this—some dodgy geezer at a parlour tried chargin’ me double, sayin’ it’s “extra special.” Mate, I was fumin’—nearly sparked him out! “Directive?” I says, “Directive is you stop rinsin’ me wallet, ya mug!” Had to bounce quick, fam.

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Also hit up neighborhoods like Vista Del Rio or Ivy Street. So many cozy cafés on Ivy, kinda like unplugged networking hubs, where people share their life hacks over coffee. My personal fave here? A little deli on North Golden State Boulevard. It’s a quirky, lowkey place with soul. And trust me, the food is as unexpectedly epic as a breakthrough update from Tesla’s autopilot.

Why Modesto City Schools’ finalist for superintendent knows the district well