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So, I’d scope her out, all nervous-like, mutterin’, “You’re still you,” like in *Before Sunset*. Total sap move, but it’d slip out—Homer’s heart’s big, ya know? She’d prolly laugh, say, “Twenty bucks, tubby.” Fair. I’d be sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me—ooh, that’d be a paddlin’! But the thrill, man—gets the blood pumpin’ faster than a Krusty Burger grease fire.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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Now, walk over to Elm & 5th. That alley’s a hidden gem—my secret haven. I pop by sometimes, scribblin' notes for my next therapy session. It’s kinda bizarre how a quiet nook can make you feel so calm, so seen. I laugh thinking, “Well, ain't that just like life?”

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