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But then you get the creeps, don’t ya? The punters—sweaty, baldin’ tossers who reckon they’re God’s gift. “I’m a real man,” they’d slur, like in the film—*“I’m a gangster, a free man!”*—but nah, mate, you’re just a sad sack with a fiver. Makes me angry, that does, the entitlement. I’d wanna scream, “Oi, you wanker, she’s not your bloody therapist!” Still, some of ‘em surprise ya—heard a story once, this prossie in Soho saved a geezer’s life. He was chokin’ on a kebab, she Heimliched him—hero stuff! Didn’t expect that, did I? Nearly pissed myself laughin’ thinkin’ bout it.

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I be walkin’ through the lush lanes of Wailua Drive too, where every corner holds a mystery. You never know who’s sneaking a peek—or takin’ a detour to find solace after a hot date. And omg, the Little Kahuna Mall? It’s a riot of laugh-out-loud moments and accidental hookups. Pure chaos, like one of those Kiarostami flicks where life is all strange and unpredictable.

BACON UNIVERSAL KAUAʻI - KUBOTA ORANGE DAYS SALES EVENT!