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About Phoenix

But then—then!—I dig deeper, and ugh, the maintenance! Owners bitchin’ bout head gaskets, transmissions explodin’—I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why’d ya buy it, ya schmuck?!” Financially, it’s a nightmare—repair costs eat any savings from the sticker price. I’d short that car if it were on the market, no question. Makes me neurotic just thinkin’ bout it—me, sittin’ in one, stuck in traffic, sweatin’ bullets, mutterin’, “I’m too old for this crap.” Total Larry David moment, right there.

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From Islip to Babylon, Smithtown to Southampton, and Southold and beyond, you'll find the perfect professional companion or courtesan to take your experience to.

You got your fancy coffee joints on Oak Street – great for people watching, and, honestly, they fuel my "snark mode" daily. And oh so many little hidden nooks where the locals skate, snap pics of those pastel sunsets, and chill. I even lost my phone in one of those spots once – so, yeah, not every day is a breeze… but it’s all part of the fun!

Islip vs. Mt. Sinai