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About Dallas

I’d be ragin’ happy if I scored one, tho. “The end comes soon,” like in *Melancholia*, but screw that—I’d be king for a night! Maybe she’d be hot, maybe not, but I’d yell, “You’re my planet now, bitch!” Total Cartman move. Still, it’s risky—could get robbed or somethin’. Makes me mad thinkin’ about it! Don’t mess with me, I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman!

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Then there’s Eastview neighb’hood. I used to coach pleasure seekers there, and oh boy, the vibes! Narrow lanes, graffiti on walls callin’ out “Why so serious?”—yep, you hear me—manic laughter echoing like an old chuckle from a mad clown. Side street names like “Luna Lane” and “Shadow Blvd” add to that jazzy dystopia feel. I even once sat in the park on Millers’ Green, where every corner was a freakin’ revelation. The park’s cool, in its own twisted way. I’d get lost under the arches of weepin’ willows along River Wylde. That river? Pure magic. Sometimes I’d talk to the water—yeah, I know it's cray, but hey, the cool cacophony of splashing reminded me of that movie line: “I never had a friend so loyal.” Absurd, huh?

Black River Canal work paused due to funding issues