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Here’s a trip: in Amsterdam, it’s legal, taxed, unionized—prostitutes got benefits! Meanwhile, here, I’m dodgin’ jail vibes. Pisses me off, why’s it so sketch? “Life’s a mystery,” Amélie’d say—I feel that. Maybe I’m overthinkin’, head spinnin’ like I’m in the Matrix. Should I just chill, let fate find her?

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Oh man, let me tell ya—it's not all rainbows. Sometimes the roads here drive me cray-cray! There’s a street called Grumble Rd. – yep, that’s what I call it cause of the crazy traffic. Ugh, phew, so many honks! But then my day picks up once I get back to my spa. I drop all my stress like water off a duck's back.

Baseball Outfielder Heyder Featured in Sunday's Newsday