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So we set the deal, 50 bucks, quick ride. I’m hyped, but I’m watchin’ my back — streets ain’t safe, bro. Cops, pimps, weirdos — all lurkin’. Say hello to my little friend! He’s lovin’ this chaos, but I’m sweatin’ bullets. She’s chill, though, says, “Relax, I got you.” And I’m thinkin’, “Tony, you struck gold!”

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So, Eufaula is this little-town charm with streets like Main St. bustlin’ with color and life. I hang near Elm Avenue sometimes, sneakin’ around, checking out local spots. Dude, there's Crazywater Park down on Riverbend St.—seriously, its vibe is as trippy as a drug trip in Paul Thomas Anderson’s world. I get the weirdest rush livin’ here, like, sexuality meets vintage cinematic beat.

9 & Dine: Eufaula restaurant remains open in midst of winter weather