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So, I’m investigatin’ this chick—real pro, works downtown. Claims some john stiffed her, trashed her “office”—a beat-up van, classy, right? She’s filin’ for damages—damages! I’m yellin’, “You’re a hooker, not State Farm!” But she’s got receipts—condoms, lube, the works! I’m dyin’—this is my life now?! Reminds me of *Timbuktu* again—“The cow’s worth more than me!” she’s basically screamin’. I’m like, “Lady, your van’s worth less than my lunch!”

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EDWARDSVILLE — Police are investigating a case of a Florissant man who allegedly held up.

First off, Main Street is poppin’. There’s this quirky vibe on Park Ave. The local hangout, Maple & 3rd, serves killer coffee. I'm always surprised how nature meets city buzz. Seriously, it’s like a scene out of Carlos – “Life’s a wet canvas, waiting for color!” Really do.

Woman Airlifted After Vehicle Flips Near Illinois Route 157 In Edwardsville