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I’m gettin’ all excited, ‘cause it’s sneaky, y’know? You gotta know the spots – alleys, dive bars, those creepy motels with the flickerin’ signs. Surprised me how chill some gals were, like, “Hey, man, it’s cool, just don’t be a creep.” Made me happy, ‘cause I hate sleazy jerks ruinin’ it for everyone. Oh, but the typos, hon – I’m typin’ fast, fngers slippin’, prolly 17 mistakes already, whoops! Don’t care, it’s us talkin’, right?

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Yo, my man, lemme tell ya 'bout Chino-Valley (us)! I'm that masseur who’s been chillin' here, workin' magic on folks' backs for years, know your role! I'm talkin’ dwn Main St, Oak Ln, and even that funky Squiggle Ave—yeah, the one that kinda winds like a dragon’s tail. Kinda like in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," ya dig? “Inconceivable.” Raised eyebrow, “Know your role!”

What Was Thought To Be A Fatal Accident Wednesday In Chino Valley, Turned Out Possibly Being A Suicide