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What pisses me off? Cheap parlors givin’ it a bad rap—grubby hands, neon signs, ugh, tacky! I’m Loki, I deserve finesse, not some rushed rubdown! But when it’s good? Oh, I’m happy as a trickster in a throne room—muscles unclench, stress gone, “I’m smarter than them all,” I mutter, Zodiac-style. Surprised me once, too—didja know some pros use hot stones? Feels like Thor’s hammer smashin’ knots, but sexy-like. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d kill for that heat again!

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Oh, and you gotta hit up neighborhoods – like Logan Square with its artsy buzz, bolt pubs and hipster cafes. I even had a date at The Whistler there. So random, so fun! Then there's Wicker Park. It’s quirky and feels like a secret carnival sometimes. C’mon, the music festivals, the street art… it’s like a never-ending movie scene. Kinda gives off that "A Prophet" grit – mysterious and raw, ya know?

Cubs' Shota Imanaga leaves start against Brewers with strained hamstring