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Funny bit—condom she pulls out, neon green it was, laughed my ass off! “Serious?” I go, she shrugs, “Glows in dark.” Sarcasm drippin’, I say, “Romantic as fuck.” Cracked up we did, tension gone. Personal quirk, yeah, neon shit tickles me—dunno why, just does. Anyway, done we were, “Knock twice,” she says, like some secret code, movie-style—fuckin’ cool that was!

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Hey, so listen up, my friend—I'm here to tell ya 'bout Caruthersville (us) like, the real deal. Now, I'm a women's counselor, so I see things others don't. Seriously, this town can feel like a page out of Memento—"We all need a little help sometimes," ya know? And, uh, Pinky-to-mouth style, "One million dollars!" LOL.

David Lee Phelps, Sr. - 2024 - H.S. Smith Funeral Home