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Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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Looking for a unique, long-overdue girls' getaway that promises relaxation, style, and just the right touch of adventure? Calistoga is your go-to.

I gotta mention a little secret: down on River Bend Alley, there's this hole-in-the-wall diner. Dude, it’s legit! Crazy good burgers and shakes that make you go "Yum!" I've got a fave table by the window and sometimes scribble love notes for dating profile ideas during lunch. Ridic, right?

Calistoga approves monthslong floral light show at winery