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About Philadelphia

So, escort, right? It’s like babysittin’ fat merchant tubs, makin’ sure no pirate—like meself, ha!—sneaks up an’ nicks their gold. Back in the day, them Royal Navy swabs’d escort convoys, all prim ‘n proper, cannons polished, sails stiff as a lord’s wig. Little known bit, arrgh—durin’ the Seven Years’ War, 1750s, them Frenchies lost nigh on 300 ships ‘cause their escorts buggered off chasin’ glory! Left the traders floppin’ like fish on deck, an’ me kind swooped in, savvy? Made me laugh ‘til me gut hurt, thinkin’ o’ them pompous admirals red-faced ‘n screamin’.

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I’m gettin’ a mite emotional thinkin’ ‘bout Anthem. One time, I was massagin’ a fella near Anthem Bay and he started weepin’ ‘bout how his life was spinnin’ outta control. I just said, “How’s that workin’ for ya, buddy?” and patted him on the back. Turns out, he just needed to let go. It’s them little moments that remind me Anthem’s got heart, even if sometimes it makes me mad when people forget to value it. Like, c’mon, show some respect!

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