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I’m chattin’ her up, casual-like, “Oi, love, what’s the deal?” She’s cool, sassy, says, “50 quid, no funny biz.” I’m thinkin’, *Hurt Locker* style—“The rush of battle is a potent addiction”—and mate, I’m hooked already! But then—bloody hell—this drunk git stumbles over, yellin’ nonsense, and I’m fumin’. “You shall not pass, you filthy wanker!” I bellow, staff or no staff, I’m ready to deck him. She laughs, says, “Chill, Gandalf, I’ve seen worse.” That cracks me up—happy as a hobbit with a pint.

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I gotta mention my jam spot—Founders Park. It’s kinda off the beaten path, but oh my gosh, it's so chill and lively. I often take my thinking cap off, sit here, and watch families picnic, couples stroll, and old pals just sittin' there. Kids run wild, and I swear, I even spot a few secrets that tell me, "Hey, this is where magic happens." Never thought I'd get so emotional about a patch of grass! LOL!

Adapted Bowling: Alexandria sends strong group to state