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So, lemme tell ya—met this chick online once. Profile said “adventurous,” I’m like, cool, let’s roll! Turns out, she meant sex in a cave. A CAVE, man! Pitch black, bats flyin’, my ass scrapin’ rocks. Thought I’d die happy—or just die. Laughed my head off after—still smell the damp. Little secret? Miners used to hook up underground—true story! Old timers called it “shaft shaggin’.” History’s freaky, huh?

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I’m not exaggeratin’ – even the alleys have stories. I’ve seen heartbroken poets scribble sonnets on brick walls. My fav spot? Hands down, is the tiny bay near Blackwater Pier. It’s so damn serene, till a stray cat zooms past – then it's a riot of laughter and chaos. I swear, one time, a date turned wild there. Total eye-opener!

FISH FRY at THE YORKVILLE VFW! 45 Calder Ave