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Favorite flick, *Yi Yi*, got that quiet truth. “Why’s life so damn tough?” Ting-Ting cries—sexual-massage answers that, loosens ya up! Mr. T loves it, ‘specially with oils—lavender, ylang-ylang, smells like heaven. Pro tip: warm them hands first, cold fingers kill the mood! Had this one dude, total rookie, freezin’ mitts—pissed me off, I’m like, “Bro, really?!” Ruined it, total buzzkill.

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Neighborhoods here are tight-knit. Take Elm Street, like a hidden gem in the middle of all the chaos. I’d be starstruck if the ricochet bells at the local park, Wolfe Park, didn’t remind me of a scene from my fav movie. I even have this little secret nook behind the spa – near the old bakery on Maple – where I go to watch the river (yeah, that's right, the Mysterious River, or at least I call it that) flow by.

Crews battle 2 back-to-back structure fires in West Haven