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Still, it’s a gamble, innit? Surprised me how many hide behind filters—cowards! Like, mate, I’ve seen worse in my dungeons. Funniest bit? This lass bragged she banged 10 guys in a week—called it “research.” Research, my arse! She’s just thirsty. Oh, and get this—there’s a secret sex-dating ring in prisons, coded notes passed in bread loaves. Saw it myself, nearly choked laughin’—fuckin’ ingenious, tho.

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I’m mad sometimes, but in the best way. Like that one time, my stock of essential oils got delayed by, like, a week. That's when I yelled “Why so serious?” out the window to no one in particular. Then again, it's moments like these that, ugh, make me feel super alive – ya know?

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