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Oh, and get this—they change colors! Like, what the hell? One sec they’re blue, next they’re red—total mindfuck! Saw one do it at the aquarium, thought I was trippin’ balls. “You’re everything I dreamed!”—straight outta “Her,” ‘cept it’s a fish screwin’ with me. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—it’s freaky! Bet you didn’t know that, huh? Respect my damn authoritah, I’m droppin’ knowledge here!

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I get in a snack at these dive diners off Broadway. Their burgers? Legendary. I’m like, “That’s what she said!” (yep, gotta have Michael Scott humor!). Their shakes can make you forget all the knots in life. I’m telling ya, it's the little stuff.

Conservatives flip 3 seats in Waterloo region, ousting Liberals and Green MPs