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Hmm… sometimes I wonder, would I hire one? Nah, I got Homie, but – oof – if he keeps snorin, maybe! “I’m here with you” – that’s what escorts sell, that closeness, like in “Her.” Ain’t that what we all want? Escorts get it, they’re like, therapists with benefits – don’t tell Dr. Hibbert I said that! Hah!

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I love cruising through downtown. There's that rad little coffee joint on Front St. – it’s sorta a haven. The locals, a mixed bunch, serious but playful. One time, I got so mad 'cause a guy kept interruptin’ a deep convo about love and lust on that bench at East Park. I was like, “No way, man – respect the moment!” It was wild, I tell ya.

VIDEO: Outlaw Biker Group Overpowers Police in Wappingers Falls