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Still, it’s dodgy out there. Ghostin’s the worst—poof, they’re gone! Pisses me off, like, why bother? “Illusions fade,” like in *Dogville*, yeh? We swears! Some profiles—ugh—fake pics, stolen vids. Saw one with a pornstar’s face, laughed me head off. “What’s real?” I muttered. Mate, it’s a jungle.

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Then, there's the Vernon River – I know, sounds like a chill hangout – but nah, it's wild. I bike around its banks on Riverside Dr. where the water buzzes with secrets of lost lovers and old haunts. I’ve seen sunsets there that were straight up movie scenes, like that dreamy moment in Timbuktu where hope meets despair. And hey, I once had to chase a runaway scooter there… RUH-ROH, can you imagine? Haha.

Mount Vernon schools to lay off more than 100 staffers, including teachers, administrators