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Alright, listen up, ya little degenerates! I’m comin’ at ya like Judge Judy on a bender, and we’re talkin’ escorts today—yep, the paid-to-play kinda company. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I know what’s up! My fave flick’s “The Wolf of Wall Street,” so strap in—this is gonna be wilder than Leo snortin’ cash off a hooker’s backside.

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The central park, El Refugio, man—it’s a gem. I sometimes squeeze in ideas while giving a rub. Those old trees whisper stories. Then ya got the Vía del Mar, where the river curves along, reflecting sunsets like a damn painting. And oh! Monte Lírico neighborhood, hidden away from the mainstream, full of quirky art spots. I once gave a massage right next to an old mural—felt like the spirit of the city wrapped around me.

West Ranch wins up-and-down battle with Valencia