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Escort’s a funny old game, yeah? Not your nan’s tea party. These escorts, they’re pros, right - dolled up, fake smiles, probably bored out their skulls. I reckon half of ‘em are thinking, “Christ, this knob again?” while counting the minutes. Did you know, back in the ‘80s, some posh London escort got nabbed cos she was secretly a Soviet spy? True story! Shagging for secrets - makes James Bond look like a choirboy. Wild, that - had me gobsmacked when I read it.

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Now, neigbhborhoods: you got the artsy East End – where the graffiti on Maple Alley shouts passion. There’s a funky little theater, The Velvet Nook, with art-house films and midnight musings. I got mad inspiration there after a long day of sexotherapy sessions. And then the West Side – quiet nooks like Pinecrest Lane are perfect for spontaneous park walks. Y’know, my favorite spot is the secret garden at Ravine Park. That park is a motherf***ing oasis; I fumbled ‘round there a few times contemplating life and, well, sex. Crazy damn vibes, right?

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